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Who Picks up the Tab on a Date?

Posted on February 10th, 2008 in First Dates, Dating Tips - Women, Dating Tips - Men by

Not very long ago, it was only proper that if a man asked a woman out on a date, he was expected to pay the tab for the evening. Things have changed a lot in a short time, and the man isn’t always expected to pay for the date these days. How do you know who is going to pay?

When a Man asks the Woman

Men are hunters by nature and when he asks a woman on a date, that is part of the ritual. If a man likes you, he will often be more than happy to pay for your evening out, especially if he was the one doing the asking. When you accept this courtesy, you are telling the man that you too are interested. You might offer to pay your way out of politeness, and if he refuses you know he is interested in seeing you again. If you insist on paying your own way, you may give him the impression that you are rejecting him.

What if He Asks you for Money?

If when the check comes, your date asks you to chip in for the tab, you can be reasonably sure that he is not all that interested in you. Guys want to impress their crush and paying is one way they try and do that. There are plenty of guys who will come up with a myriad of excuses of why they can’t pay such as they forgot their wallet, they are a little short this week, and this should be a big, waving, red flag for you.

The Obligation Factor

Many women today offer to pay their own way so they don’t feel obligated or indebted to the fellow they are out with. Most women have jobs and make a good living and they don’t want to seem as if they are taking advantage by making the man pay for everything. You can let him pay for the dinner and then treat him to a movie afterwards. Who pays is a big consideration in the dating game, one that your mother probably never had to worry about when she was single.

How to End a Bad Date

Posted on December 22nd, 2007 in First Dates, Dating Tips - Women by

The night is almost over. Your date has not gone well, and you’re truly dreading the good-bye and the expected goodnight kiss. Men are not very good at reading the signals that women give out, so don’t assume the guy knows you are really not into him. Most men will need you to tell them, gently but firmly, you are not interested in seeing them again.

Of course slipping out the back door is not an option, though it may seem attractive. If you have no intention of ever seeing him again, being nice may not work. He may take your niceness for interest. So what do you do when you have reached the point when it is time to say farewell?

The first thing you should do, especially if your date has treated you to dinner or other activity, is to thank him. You can gently explain point blank that you don’t feel any chemistry between the two of you. Don’t offer the lame explanation that you can still be friends, unless you truly want to be friends with him. It is best to cut things off right away so you don’t give him false hope later on.

Don’t give in to a goodnight kiss because you feel badly. This too may give him promise that you may eventually change your mind if he is just persistent enough. Ask him nicely not to call you again and wish him luck in his life and his quest for love.

Sometimes being cruel to be kind is the only way to go when you are out with someone you have absolutely no interest in dating again. Men can be quite tenacious and continue to call if you give them even just a glimmer of hope. So though you may feel like a rat, be honest and tell him you are just not interested in pursuing the relationship any further.

Button up Those Lips on A First Date

Posted on November 23rd, 2007 in First Dates by

A first date is one of life’s most exciting experiences.  You agonize over what to wear, how to fix your hair and if your breath is fresh enough to pass muster. It is natural to be nervous, and oftentimes when people are nervous they babble to fill silent voids and lulls in conversation. Many times the topics they touch on are controversial, and could have disastrous consequences for the prospective relationship.

Don’t Stick Your Foot in Your Mouth

The biggest turn off is when your date harps on and on about his or ex. Sure, you can mention any serious relationships in the past, but there’s really no necessity to get into specifics and personal details.  Talking incessantly about an ex lover can indicate to your date that you still have unresolved feelings. There will be plenty of time to talk about that subject when you know each other better.

Bragging about accomplishments can be a bore as well. No one wants to listen to someone trying to convince you how great and wonderful they are. This will set off alarms that you are insecure and you need validation. It may instead indicate that you are arrogant and full of yourself.

Religion and Politics are always Taboo

First dates should be an exploration, a chance to see if there is attraction and chemistry between two people. Subjects like religion and politics are heavy and shouldn’t be delved into on a first date. If you like each other and want to continue to date, there will be lots of time to have heated debates on a number of subjects. There are many things that are light hearted and interesting enough to talk about on your first time out together.

Remember to think before you speak and that it is okay to have silence between you. You don’t have to blurt out whatever is on your mind during a lull, you can think about what would be appropriate and ensure there is no embarrassment on either side.