From First Dates to Forever: Lessons from a Top Lesbian Dating Coach

As the world becomes more accepting of the LGBTQ+ community, dating for lesbian women has become easier in some ways but still difficult in others. That’s why many women turn to dating coaches to help them navigate the dating world and find that special someone. One such coach is Mary Gorham Malia, the founder of Gay Girl Dating Coach, who has helped countless women find love and happiness. Here are just a few of the lessons she teaches:

1. Be clear about what you want.

One of the biggest mistakes that people make when dating is not being clear about what they want. This is especially true for women dating women, who often feel like they have to be more flexible and accommodating than their straight counterparts. However, as Malia points out, being clear about your wants and needs is actually a sign of strength. “You are the buyer in the dating market,” she says. “You get to choose what you want and need in a partner. Own that power.”

2. Don’t compromise on your dealbreakers.

Related to the first point, it’s important to know your dealbreakers and not compromise on them. For example, if you absolutely cannot date someone who smokes, don’t make an exception just because you really like someone in other ways. “Dealbreakers are dealbreakers for a reason,” Malia says. “If you go against them, you are not being true to yourself.”

3. Communicate clearly and honestly.

Communication is key in any relationship, and it starts from the very first date. Be clear and honest about your intentions and expectations, and don’t be afraid to bring up any concerns or questions you may have. “The more transparent you are, the more likely you are to get what you want,” Malia says.

4. Beat the fear of rejection.

Rejection is a hard pill to swallow, no matter who you are. But for lesbian women, who can sometimes feel like the dating pool is already small, it can be even harder. However, Malia encourages her clients to remember that rejection is a normal part of dating, and not to let it deter them from putting themselves out there. “Rejection is just a detour in the plan,” she says. “It’s not the end of the world.”

5. Be your authentic self.

Finally, perhaps the most important lesson that Malia teaches is to be yourself. It can be tempting to try to be someone you’re not in order to impress or attract someone, but ultimately this will only lead to disappointment. “When you’re authentically you, the right person is going to love and appreciate you for who you are,” Malia says. “That’s what real love is all about.”

Dating can be tough no matter who you are, but with the help of a great coach like Mary Gorham Malia, lesbian women can find their way from first dates to forever. By being clear about what you want, communicating honestly, sticking to your dealbreakers, overcoming fear of rejection, and being yourself, you can find the love and happiness you deserve.