Dating Blurb

We are all familiar with mainstream online dating sites such as eHarmony, Match.com etc, that promise you will find a lifelong mate, but are you aware there is a whole other world of online dating you might be missing? With niche dating, you could have a better chance of finding your true mate.  

A niche dating site is typically a site that caters to singles looking for like minded people such as animal lovers, fitness freaks, sci-fi or electronics geeks, golfers and hundreds of others too numerous to list.

Of course many of these sites are fly-by-night operations that don’t take hold in the public’s mind, but many others have thrived and passed the test of time. One such site can boast matching animal activist vegetarians which can be a tough category to find the like minded mates. There are other sites that cater to animal lovers of all kinds such as common household pets and even some more exotic types of animals. If you are a rooting, tooting cowboy or cowgirl, you can find a niche dating site that may hook you up with the person of your dreams.

There are many people with disabilities and niche dating sites that cater to their needs may be the perfect place they can find true love. If you are a woman who is a little more than on the plump side, there are niche dating sites that will introduce you to men who live by the creed, “Bigger is beautiful.”

How about the gal who wants a man with a lot of cash in his pockets? She can visit quite a few niche dating sites that cater to successful singles as well as to rich men and the ladies who want to date them. For the girl or guy that is looking for a more homespun romance, they can browse a dating site that is devoted to bringing country folk and farmers together for long lasting romance.

Not very long ago, it was only proper that if a man asked a woman out on a date, he was expected to pay the tab for the evening. Things have changed a lot in a short time, and the man isn’t always expected to pay for the date these days. How do you know who is going to pay?

When a Man asks the Woman

Men are hunters by nature and when he asks a woman on a date, that is part of the ritual. If a man likes you, he will often be more than happy to pay for your evening out, especially if he was the one doing the asking. When you accept this courtesy, you are telling the man that you too are interested. You might offer to pay your way out of politeness, and if he refuses you know he is interested in seeing you again. If you insist on paying your own way, you may give him the impression that you are rejecting him.

What if He Asks you for Money?

If when the check comes, your date asks you to chip in for the tab, you can be reasonably sure that he is not all that interested in you. Guys want to impress their crush and paying is one way they try and do that. There are plenty of guys who will come up with a myriad of excuses of why they can’t pay such as they forgot their wallet, they are a little short this week, and this should be a big, waving, red flag for you.

The Obligation Factor

Many women today offer to pay their own way so they don’t feel obligated or indebted to the fellow they are out with. Most women have jobs and make a good living and they don’t want to seem as if they are taking advantage by making the man pay for everything. You can let him pay for the dinner and then treat him to a movie afterwards. Who pays is a big consideration in the dating game, one that your mother probably never had to worry about when she was single.

If you have found yourself unlucky in love so many times, and you have been blaming it on the men you have picked, it might be time for you to shift some of the blame where it really belongs - on your shoulders. If you can’t seem to find love, it may not be because men are men - it might just be it is because you are you.

Look a Little Deeper

If you find your love life runs the same pattern over and over, it is probably because of something you are doing or not doing. It is easier for a woman to blame the man rather than look to herself. Sure, you can find lots of immature guys out there just looking for nothing more than a hot body, but all men are not the same. You may want to consider that you might be the immature one with unrealistic expectations.

Look at Me!

Men are not attracted to desperate women. You may want to consider if some of your actions such as emailing, IMing and texting frequently are signaling him that you are ready to plunge into an exclusive relationship after only a few dates, or worse, that you have no life.

How many times have you wanted to bail on a guy because after a few dates he is calling and trying to get in contact with you constantly? Even if you really like someone and think he feels the same way, allow him to make some of the moves instead of bulldozing your way into his life. Be patient and control your impulses.  Let time decide if he is the right one for you.

It is confusing to be told, “Play hard to get, yet be accessible.” Finding the right balance when you meet a prospective suitor can be tough. Your best bet is to take your time, be honest, and be yourself.

Putting on an act is not the way to begin a relationship.

It can be so hard to figure out if your feelings are deeper than just mere lust and attraction. They both feel the same way in the beginning; loss of appetite, butterflies in the stomach, and excitement are just a few of the things you may be feeling after you have had a few dates with someone. How can you tell when it is the real thing and not just a fleeting feeling?

Love Questions and Teens

As we grow and mature, we gather life experiences that give an adult a perspective that is sorely lacking in teens. Teens can easily become confused between knowing if they really have deep feelings for someone, or if they are just lusting after the person. It can be hard for parents to talk to their children about this delicate matter.

Hormones Gone Wild

It is especially hard for teens to sort out feelings that are genuine versus lustful fantasizing; their bodies can be considered one big hormone during the teenage years. Keeping an open dialogue with your teenagers, and relating your angst and experiences in the art of love can keep your teen from making a mistake that can have repercussions for their future.

So what’s the Difference?

When you’re in love, you will find yourself thinking about the other person in ways that are not just sexual. For instance, when you are at the gas station and you are inside paying, you may happen to see a little doodad that brings your new passion to mind. Those in love will pick up the trinket to bring home to their new love to show them they were thinking of them while they were apart.

When your fantasies about you and your new crush center around home and hearth instead of just heat and passion, you can be pretty sure your feelings are begin to become more serious.

Learning the difference between lust and love is something everyone has to do on their own and it can be a tricky matter.

Valentine’s Day can be a rough holiday for guys. They are expected to show their appreciation for their lady love with gifts, cards and romance. For most guys, this can be a daunting task. Everyone gives flowers and candy; so what can you do to make the day special?

Buy a Unique Gift

Instead of the expected dozen roses and heart shaped box of candy, why not use your noodle, and get creative? You could consider buying a gift certificate for you to have a romantic couple’s massage. Not only with this benefit your true love, but it will benefit you as well. You can buy her a gift basket, and fill it with gifts yourself. You can put in a bottle of wine, chocolate body paint and sensuous massage oil

Get Away from it All

You can present your lover with tickets to an exotic, tropical getaway. If you can’t afford such a gift, making plans to stay overnight at a romantic bed and breakfast that is not too far away can make the same statement. Nothing will sweep her off her feet like a man making all the arrangements for a romantic weekend getaway.

Make it a Night to Remember

If you want to show your love right in town, you can plan a romantic stroll along the beach. Or if you don’t live near the beach, perhaps a walk through the botanical gardens will do the trick. You can set up a blanket in the backyard and play romantic music on the radio as you hold hands and gaze up at the stars.

Planning a Valentine’s Day surprise is not as difficult as you may imagine. Women like men to put thought into their gift. Most women will be happier with a poem you wrote yourself than a houseful of roses.

It is a fact of life; your looks do matter. Not only do your looks matter, but the clothes you wear, the people you are with and the places you frequent are all things people judge you for and in this day of perfect, slender beauty, the way you look matters more than ever.

That is not to say if you are not supermodel beautiful, you will never get a date. It means that first impressions say a lot about who you are, and the way you feel about yourself. You can be the smartest, sweetest person in the world, but if you are wearing ratty sweatpants and t-shirts as your main wardrobe, you would be hard pressed to get a date with the person of your dreams this way.

Making the most out of your looks and focusing on your best attributes shows other people you take pride in your appearance. It is the difference between being noticed, and being overlooked. In order to get that person interested in the wonderful person you are inside, you have to get them to see you first.

No matter how funny and interesting you might find someone, if there is no chemistry there can be no long lasting relationship. Usually at first glance, you know if you find someone attractive, and the same goes when they are looking at you. First dates are usually about attraction, and looking your best helps you to feel your best and that usually spells success.

Keep yourself well groomed and wear clothing that flatters your body type instead of just what is in fashion. If you feel you are not in the best of shape, then join a gym instead of whining you are too fat to attract a mate. You don’t have to have scads of money in order to dress well, you just need to be savvy and know where to find the bargains. Remember, your looks do matter though you don’t have to be a raving beauty to get a date.

If you’ve found yourself being rejected once too often, it could be a lack of confidence that’s doing you in. This is something most people don’t consider when they are trying to make it in the dating game.  Self confidence is one of the most attractive traits in a partner, although you don’t want someone too full of themselves either.  

What is Self Confidence?

Self confidence is the feeling of having pride in yourself and your abilities. It’s okay to be proud of yourself; that is a sign of a mentally healthy person as long as they keep the proper perspective. No one likes a braggart or a show-off. But they do want someone who is confident in themselves. For instance, if you love your job and feel good about the path your life is taking, this communicates itself to others that you are a person who has high self-esteem.

How to Tell if You are Self Confident

Do you know how to take a compliment?

When someone tells you that you’ve done a good job, do you thank them confidently or say, “Oh, I am surprised you like it.”

Do you constantly put yourself down and present yourself in a negative light?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may have some issues with your self confidence. Getting more self confidence in order to land the date you have long been pining for is one of the easiest things to change about yourself.

Getting the Confidence

Never focus on negative aspects of your personality, focus on the things you like. Are you funny with a good sense of humor? Are you a loyal and true friend? Do you get the job done when you say you will? These are all things you can be proud of when you see it in yourself. The more you concentrate on the positive, the more positive the impression you will give to people when you meet them.

You ideally want to find a matchmaker that does the interviewing and the matching. This is of utmost importance and is what separates matchmakers from other dating services. You will not only get the matchmaker’s undivided attention, but will also enjoy better services because they will have a personal stake (their reputation) in your successful love match.

You might also want to choose a matchmaking service that doesn’t have a host of employees. A small matchmaking service will give you the personalized service such a delicate situation calls for as well as suggestions for improving your compatibility.

You also want to be sure that your matchmaking service has the caliber of people you are interested in meeting on file. You don’t need the services of a matchmaker that doesn’t offer you dates with the type of person who could be a potential mate. For instance, if you are a college professor, you may not feel comfortable dating someone with little or no college education.

Using a matchmaking service run by just one or two people will often give you the best service for your fees. Ask around and see if any friends can recommend any professional matchmakers in your area.

The night is almost over. Your date has not gone well, and you’re truly dreading the good-bye and the expected goodnight kiss. Men are not very good at reading the signals that women give out, so don’t assume the guy knows you are really not into him. Most men will need you to tell them, gently but firmly, you are not interested in seeing them again.

Of course slipping out the back door is not an option, though it may seem attractive. If you have no intention of ever seeing him again, being nice may not work. He may take your niceness for interest. So what do you do when you have reached the point when it is time to say farewell?

The first thing you should do, especially if your date has treated you to dinner or other activity, is to thank him. You can gently explain point blank that you don’t feel any chemistry between the two of you. Don’t offer the lame explanation that you can still be friends, unless you truly want to be friends with him. It is best to cut things off right away so you don’t give him false hope later on.

Don’t give in to a goodnight kiss because you feel badly. This too may give him promise that you may eventually change your mind if he is just persistent enough. Ask him nicely not to call you again and wish him luck in his life and his quest for love.

Sometimes being cruel to be kind is the only way to go when you are out with someone you have absolutely no interest in dating again. Men can be quite tenacious and continue to call if you give them even just a glimmer of hope. So though you may feel like a rat, be honest and tell him you are just not interested in pursuing the relationship any further.